Someday
by Annie Dash
Summary: Gonna be a pretty angsty Shawn fic. Rated M for some nudity and sex scenes in later chapters. Includes several poems I wrote for Shawn. Lots of hurt. Lots of comfort.


**A/N: I don't own Boy Meets World, nor do I work on it. If I did, I'd have better places to be than fanfiction, and I'd be making my plots become a reality. And I'd most likely be working on Girl Meets World, which I AM SO EXCITED FOR.  
**

Chapter 1

"It's been real, Shawn. Real painful." And with those last treacherous, agonizing words, the one girl I'd ever loved, the only human being I'd be willing to sacrifice anything for, exited my Manhattan apartment, with a loud door slam, her idea of closure. (No pun intended.) Mystified, I sunk into the couch, eyes staring at the empty TV screen. Nothing good on, goddammit. Not even a good Spongebob rerun. Nothing to fully satisfy my nautical nonsense needs. Fantasy worlds are so much fun with their magical mermaids and physics-defying sponges.

Without TV, the only non-self harm activity I truly enjoyed was poetry. Both gave me a sense of numbness that could only easily be obtained otherwise with smoking, drinking, and cutting. With the disappearance of my girlfriend of five years, ever since age 24 when she finally decided to come back from Europe where her father had taken her. The little excursion was promised to take a year; Angela said her heart would be reserved for me until she came back to the states. However, a year came and passed, and I received a letter saying that Mr. Moore, military man father of my object of affection, would be stationed in Europe for another four years. After dating Angela for two years throughout high school and college, I naturally assumed she planned to return to be with me. She didn't and was with her father for the extra four years because she hoped to settle down soon after returning to New York to live with me. With a steady job, a husband, 2.5 children, and a rowdy Rottweiler, seeing her beloved father would be a rare occurrence.

One thing no one foresaw was a breakup. Her job as a journalist and mine as a bartender required completely different schedules, and my frequent drunken rages led to screaming fights, lots of bile, and several broken plates on the kitchen floor. I never managed to retain the memories of who threw what and why, but I was sure as Hell not going to take the blame for events that occurred while I was most definitelynot in the right mind.

I cried. While she was in her office, I cried. When I was walking to and from work (the bar was a short walk away, owning a car in New York is silly, and I was not low enough to drive after drinking alcohol. I had my values), I cried. When Angela was traveling cross country, covering some story (I never kept track of where she was or what she was doing, better that way), I cried for hours on end. If you can't tell, I'm a crier. I used to be a little rebel troublemaker, but the shit I did as a kid would get me in serious trouble with the cops nowadays.

Then there's my poetry. It gets my thoughts and emotions out, and I do it for me, only me. That took a long time to drill into my friend Cory's head sophomore year in college. He's still a friend now, but our lives are so different that I only call him once in awhile. Sitting on the couch, mourning over Angela's confusing dismissal, I wrote this:

Someday

Someday I'd like to show you places,

Guide your eyes, so they can witness

My sweet, tranquil Pacific sea.

Twirl you in circles,

Clasp you by the hand,

And sing a short sweet melody,

Whispered in your ear.

Someday I'd like to fly with you,

Soar across a serene blue sky,

Sprout eagle's wings and stare

Around us, fly all the way to my Pacific.

Come, swim in my beautiful ocean!

Come, look at my marvelous sea!

Come, dance and waltz on my sandy floor!

Come, glance at these wonders with me!

Someday I'd like to love you,

Give you the pieces of my shattered heart,

See you bleed little droplets just for me.

Someday I'd like to die for you,

Give you my all, my life, my soul.

Someday I'd like you to love me,

To sacrifice a heart just for me,

But apart for eternity is what we shall be.

****

So that's the first chapter! I don't think it's one of my better fics at the moment, but I'm working on Chapter 2, and I think that'll be better. The last bit of the poem is a bit weird, but it was kind of hard to write in a poem in Shawn's mindset. Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated! If you have any advice, criticism, or compliments, then please review! I should get Chapter 2 up within a week, but school's been crazy lately, so I'm not sure. Definitely within two weeks. Thanks for reading my rambling guys! XD


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